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Sex is said to make people do crazy things. But in 2014, I thought the insanity would have mellowed itself out. I mean some risky behavior should be an immediate “hell-to-the-no” type of situation; yet for some, it is not.
Today a friend told me something about his sex life that made me mad and disappointed. Yet the biggest problem I am having is in not judging his behavior and accepting the reality of his truth.
After eight years of living abroad, my moral radar is way off. It’s hard for me to fully know what is wrong and right. So many things are contextual, cultural, and situational. (I mean it has to be a Penn State sexual molestation situation for me to clearly say that is wrong.) I find the old, anal Monique fading away, and a much more open-minded person emerging. Yet, risky sex behavior makes me cringe and wonder, “Is it really worth it?”
With so much info out there about STDs and unwanted pregnancies, I thought people would really want to protect themselves, but it’s surprising to talk with someone who simply doesn’t care about the aftermath; the moments of self-gratification justifies the means of achieving it.
Thus, I am left to contemplate when is a friend truly a friend when speaking honestly about one’s sex life. I have listened to friends’ tales of random hook ups via special subway cars, cell phone apps, jimjilbangs, drunkin episodes, gotta-sample–the-locals, Only-because-I’m-in-Korea/Costa Rica/Chile/Ecuador/Japan, a-man-has-needs, etc. I usually listen and shrug it off because I have my own issues to deal with, and once you are 18, it’s really your life to live.
But when something is so theatre of the absurd and ludicrous, I can’t pretend things are cool. I told the friend it was crazy to have unprotected sex with multiple people. I mean, who really does that in 2014?! In chatting about the risks, he agreed the potential existed for problems to occur; yet, he still favored/favors his present practice.
“This is what we do,” he told me. Yet his comment on his upbringing explained nothing and everything. When one hasn’t found his/her own path in life, it’s easy to follow the crowd and look for ways to numb the pain of life’s setbacks. Expat communities have plenty of people doing this from Iteawon to Cotacachi. It takes courage to make life work and be content with it. A life that is simple, pleasant, and less drama filled is hard to maintain, but it is possible with faith, meditation, self acceptance and realistic goals. So why put yourself at a higher risk for STDs/HIV/AIDS and unwanted pregnancies?