So today my boss told me that I will not be moving to the faculty housing because I’m a pretty flexible and adaptable person. At first, that old, anal Monique popped up and I was like “WTF?!” But in the same moment, I remembered I really didn’t care. I’m making Ecuador work in student housing and/or faculty housing. And that was when I knew I was on the right path, a way from anal past.

student housing aka my street

student housing aka my street

I used to be very unhappy with life and angry at the world. I was an unpleasant person to be around. I allowed my environment to dictate my feelings, and I gave my peace away to others. I only saw my flaws and internalized others’ negatively commentary on me and my goals.

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But last Christmas, I had a breakdown and a breakthrough. And that is how life works for many of us. Steve Harvey always talks about the darkest hours before big blessings. And last Christmas was truly a miserable experience for me, but it was also when I realized, “This is it! I’m no longer on a break-from-life (aka living abroad away from real world participation). This is the only life I have, and I gotta make it.”

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It may seem like a simple revelation, but it was this mental switch on the “this is it!” that began my transformation, which allowed my boss to see me as the person I want to be–fluid, flowing with life. I try no longer to dictate life, but I try to catch the vibe/feeling and adjust my body/mind to its rhythm. I try to do the things that make me happy; I try to help others achieve their happiness; I try not to worry too much about the L’s of life (love, loneliness, lust, luck, living, losing, longing, learning); I try not to worry about people not wanting to be “friends” with me because as I tell people, “It’s ok if you don’t like L.A. We (Angelenos) like ourselves.” Besides I have cool family members and cool friends who are actually rooting for me to publish a novel/book and open my tea shop.

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So I may not be moving up on like the Jefferson to better housing, and I maybe awaken by freshman starting a party at 1am, but I have achieved something more precious than faculty housing– others are seeing the me that I am aspiring to be.

how i start my mornings-- at peace with myself and the world.

how i start my mornings– at peace with myself and the world.

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