One of the hardest things for me to accept is when people are genuinely not happy for me. My brother says this is one of my many hippie flaws — I want everyone to like me. I think I have grown pass the “please-like-me” phase in life, and I’m more into the respect me and I’ll respect you back. (I just told my new students this week how I had a disrespectful bunch of students last semester and it wasn’t anything nice. One former student even gave an “amen” to my statement.) My problem is when you can sense a person not liking you because you are doing something that s/he isn’t doing or didn’t think of doing. Once I realize that someone can not be happy for me, it’s hard for me to maintain a relationship. So I do the slow fall back or as my homie Felipe says, “go ghost; they can’t see you.” And this is the new phase of life I’m in — Going Ghost. I’m learning how to not offer my unsought after help and think about my needs/wants first. I’m doing as Steve Harvey says — putting my head down and working hard to accomplish my big things; I’m focusing on me and my tea shop business. Part of me feels a little sad to be at this point, but I can hear people saying, “Girl, why it take you so long to get here?” And I need to refocus my energy. Lately, I have been having some shitty days because I allowed outside forces to have my peace, my joy and my energy. I didn’t flow with life; I tried to change the flow of a tide that was too big and already approaching. I stopped exercising for a few days; thus, I wasn’t listening to my inspirational audio books. And I wasn’t having enough encouraging conversations to balance the work stress that was forming. I thought I needed to change others in order to do me, but doing you means you let others do them. Then, those shitty days started to fade when I began remembering the luv I’m getting from folks about my tea shop. So I thought about all the people who are rooting for me and California Tea Houses. I thought about how excited my grandma was for me and told me I would be a boss that would easily fire someone if s/he is not performing well and keep things moving. I was like, dang, that’s how you see me, grandma? But then I thought I do get highly annoyed when I feel things aren’t going as well as they could be. I don’t know why I consider this trait bad. If I were a man, this would be no big deal; but I’m a woman and when I’m assertive, I can feel the “she’s a bitch” in the air. But I need to stop putting that vibe in the air; I need to put the “I’m about my business and my business is doing big things. I’m winning in life!” (I can hear T.I.’s “Big Things Poppin” song now.) Life is a mystery and I need to remember not to try to figure it out too much anymore. I need to find the flow and flow with it. I need to find the beat and dance with it. And I need to find the backdrop of unimportant things and go ghost.