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Yachay Tech Uni

Yachay Tech Uni

One of the hardest things for me to accept is when people are genuinely not happy for me. My brother says this is one of my many hippie flaws — I want everyone to like me. I think I have grown pass the “please-like-me” phase in life, and I’m more into the respect me and I’ll respect you back. (I just told my new students this week how I had a disrespectful bunch of students last semester and it wasn’t anything nice. One former student even gave an “amen” to my statement.) My problem is when you can sense a person not liking you because you are doing something that s/he isn’t doing or didn’t think of doing. Once I realize that someone can not be happy for me, it’s hard for me to maintain a relationship. So I do the slow fall back or as my homie Felipe says, “go ghost; they can’t see you.” And this is the new phase of life I’m in — Going Ghost. I’m learning how to not offer my unsought after help and think about my needs/wants first. I’m doing as Steve Harvey says — putting my head down and working hard to accomplish my big things; I’m focusing on me and my tea shop business. Part of me feels a little sad to be at this point, but I can hear people saying, “Girl, why it take you so long to get here?” And I need to refocus my energy. Lately, I have been having some shitty days because I allowed outside forces to have my peace, my joy and my energy. I didn’t flow with life; I tried to change the flow of a tide that was too big and already approaching. I stopped exercising for a few days; thus, I wasn’t listening to my inspirational audio books. And I wasn’t having enough encouraging conversations to balance the work stress that was forming. I thought I needed to change others in order to do me, but doing you means you let others do them. Then, those shitty days started to fade when I began remembering the luv I’m getting from folks about my tea shop. So I thought about all the people who are rooting for me and California Tea Houses. I thought about how excited my grandma was for me and told me I would be a boss that would easily fire someone if s/he is not performing well and keep things moving. I was like, dang, that’s how you see me, grandma? But then I thought I do get highly annoyed when I feel things aren’t going as well as they could be. I don’t know why I consider this trait bad. If I were a man, this would be no big deal; but I’m a woman and when I’m assertive, I can feel the “she’s a bitch” in the air. But I need to stop putting that vibe in the air; I need to put the “I’m about my business and my business is doing big things. I’m winning in life!” (I can hear T.I.’s “Big Things Poppin” song now.) Life is a mystery and I need to remember not to try to figure it out too much anymore. I need to find the flow and flow with it. I need to find the beat and dance with it. And I need to find the backdrop of unimportant things and go ghost.

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