i had initially begun writing this post about a month ago, but decided not to post. i was self-censoring as i sometimes do (i know some people think i say everything that’s on my mind, but i don’t always. i have hometraining, some common sense and a high school diploma from LAUSD). but today i received a note from someone who has be following my effort to open a tea house and teach english ecuador. so i thought, wow, someone is actually reading my stuff. like, i know people eye my moves when i post them on FB, but this wordpress thing is just me writing for myself. it’s me keeping my writer dream alive.
this post was originally entitled, “Getting Fired & the niceness that happened on the plantation that fine August day (the edited version).” but somehow this doesn’t fit my mood now. i have truly moved on from yachay and the melodrama bc as i stated prior to being fired, yachay has given me everything i set out to get from it. after my peru conference trip, i was in the “bonus round,” meaning if i were to have received anything else from yachay, it would have been extra.
when something plays itself out, let it play out and move on to the next tune. and my next tunes are called “Mama California” and “Universidad Catolica” and “UK conference presentation” and “turn my swag on.” moving forward means not thinking about how people wronged you in the past. how so-called friends write half-truths about you in “daily journal” blogs or the cowardly manner in which bosses save face by firing people who threaten the throne. it means being “on to the next episode, yeah, yeah.”
i’m at a point where my life is good, not great, but surely not horrible. “i’m feeling myself…i’m feeling myself” but not in that cocky manner; but in a way that says “i’m doing me” and if you don’t like it, that’s cool bc i like myself. it’s too simple and easy to play the victim role in life or the critic who always finds flaws in others’ attempts to live. i much prefer the entrepreneur, conquer, i-am-woman-hear-me-roar role. this is what makes life exciting–working to your full ability. i’m working at about 85% of my potential right now. i can’t wait to reach 90% when i learn how to work “smartly” and make my money work for me.
that day is coming. i see it on the horizon.
“Turn My Swag On”
Soulja Boy tell ’em!
Hopped up out the bed,
Turn my swag on,
Took a look in the mirror said what’s up
Yeah I’m getting money (oh)