Art studio of tea cups, Carchi, Ecuador.
Wow! It’s been a long minute since I have written, but life has been charging forward and I am trying my hardest not to simply respond to it, but to direct the flow of it… I paused in writing that last thought, for I have decided to go with the flow of life, but flowing with life with no focus is a hot mess in the making. Thus, how do you flow but be focused on achieving goals?
I’m all about goal setting and creating a specific target for my energy. I can wing some stuff, but keeping it real, winging is b.s. It’s a tell-tell sign of not caring and low-level living.
I remember clearly people/colleagues disliking me bc of my drive to a specific target. It was that “Who does she think she is?” vibe surrounding me. It used to bother me, but it was at Yachay I learned to overlook this “hater vibe.” Hater -vibe? This is lazy writing like saying people are ignorant so you don’t have to go deeper in your work to connect with others. (My writing is weak bc I haven’t written regularly in a minute.)
At Yachay there was the Ecuadorian vibe of “good enough.” I will do my work in the English department, so it is “good enough” that students will learn, my boss will be satisfied and I will feel justified in receiving my “high” paycheck. I too adapted to this Ecuadorian good enough motto. Until it wasn’t good enough, until I starting analyzing my salary. You see, when I stop liking something, I start trying to justify that thing in my life with a price tag. This pricing police is a tell-tell sign life is moving upon me and a big change is coming. Whenever I am beginning to mentally untangle myself from a job, I start looking at numbers. It’s always that question, “Am I making enough to deal with the bullshit?” or “What exactly do I need this paycheck for?” or “Is this job payign as much as a job in X country bc I haven’t been to X and my wanderlust…”
Money is my internal self-indicator that I’m not flowing in the right direction of life. I’m missing something. I’m not living at my full potential bc I’m normalizing bullshit for financial gains and with two nothing degrees, money has never been the real objective in life — well modification is happening to this idea.
Money as a part of wealth has become a central objective in my entrepreneurial hustle, but with that said, providing something of value aka contributing something to the world is important. I do believe if I discover that “something” that will make the world better for someone if only for 30 minutes (zenzone-why sip alone), money will come and I can build the wealth needed to go back to LA and help my community. In my mind, my mission is clear. Establish a tea franchise, thereby generating revenue to spend on the things that I think are important, which are community improvement bc as a Soc person I truly believe we are products of our society. We are shaped by the people and institutes that impact us on so many levels. Hence, I know I must raise children in my hometown, L.A. Say what you want about L.A. but it’s my home and there are a lot of great qualities that will make my children active participants in community building.
But adoption and childrearing are few years away; hence, back to present day goals of 2017. I have yet to write down all of my goals as I did last year. The goals are marinating in my mind. But I know creating a system for a tea franchise and English center(s) are center; perhaps this is the goal — system developing of Mama California & Global English. Why overcomplicate life with numerous goals to look impressive to others about self?
2017 Goal: Developing a system to easily implement Mama California/Global English in various touristy cities in Latin America & Asia. #chasethedream
The direction of life’s flow has been set. Now I must wait for the rush of living to carry me to my destined place in 2017. As I wait, I will write The Next Great American Novel — Mama California & Espera No Mas: Waiting for God.